Dear Sirs,

Steve Harmison just doesn’t seem interested. He’s in the prime years of his career and he’s struggling with technical details regarding his action! He doesn’t seem to be the bowler he once was and I think you just bring in Mahmood and let him have 15 tests. Let him find some rhythm and some form. I’ll be willing to bet that he’ll do AT LEAST as well as Harmison. I’m afraid that the Aussies have seemingly got one over on him and I don’t think they’ll let up now. So let him go back to where he wants and let someone else come in. Giles should be surplus once we return, so thanks Ashley, but goodbye. Bring Monty in for the summer and beyond. Read the rest of this entry »

We are able to exclusively reveal what went on in the meeting that followed England’s balls-up at Brisbane, including a clue to England’s selection proceedure works and why Steve Harmison’s radar was pointed to the Gold Coast.

To listen to our latest Ashes Podcast,

CLICK HERE

Written by Fergie & Performed by AJ

Please email us if you have any comments or ideas for more podcasts.

gruff
commboxgruff@googlemail.com

ferg

commboxferg@googlemail.com

After Panesar had whirled his way to 3-39 in Pakistan’s second innings in the third test at Headingly this summer, Fletcher begrudgingly purred that the mecurial Panesar, who’d won the hearts of a cricketing nation, was now the best finger spinner in the world.

“As a finger spinner there is probably no one to match him in world cricket at the moment - his control is very, very good,” said Fletcher of Panesar.

England’s enigmatic coach also stressed that what the side needed “as a priority in Australia is to bowl them [Australia] out twice”.

So why after the disastrous Ashes opener in Brisbane has he decided to stick with Ashley Giles? Giles himself conceded before Ashes that he was not as good a bowler. Read the rest of this entry »

As Steve Harmison walked back to his mark following that already infamous first ball of the 2006/07 Ashes series, he was probably wishing he could join his mentally frail kindred spirit Marcus Trescothick on the plane back to Blighty. They could have shared an iPod and listened to a bit of Radiohead:

‘Where do we go from here?
The ball’s are coming out all weird
Where are you now when I need you?
Alone on an aeroplane
Falling asleep against the window pane
My blood will THICKEN’.

If only their blood had thickened. Only to late did the England boys realise the force at and determination with which Australia were going to come at them. Their preparation was insufficient, and no matter what any of Team England say, their preparation has left them off the pace.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is the scoop they all wanted. What really goes on behind the closed doors of Team England on an Ashes Tour. With the help of new extra sensory recording equipment we can bring you exclusive footage of Duncan Fletcher’s megalomania, Peter Gregory’s incompetence and the reasons why no one ever truly knows whats going on inside the ‘Team England bubble’!

To download our first foray into the world of cricketing satire with our Ashes Podcast.

Written by Fergie & Performed by AJ

The events at the Oval last month have fuelled much cricketing debate. Why did it happen? How did it come to the point where the Pakistan side refused to take the field again? Are they a victimised cricketing nation? Is Darrell Hair an officious cold hearted racist or a sole defender of the game’s values?

Well today’s post hearing press conference should have given us a great insight into some truths about what happened and how the ICC intends preventing such farcical scenes soiling crickets good name ever again. Enevitably however, as is with anything co-ordinated by the ICC, it was a pointless exercise and only served to shroud the whole incident in greater mystery and controversy. Not least by the fact that they announced the suspension of Hair’s umpiring duties for the ICC Champions Trophy moments before the man himself took to the hot seat, after they once again bowed to pressure from the new cricketing bully boys, the Board of Control for Cricket in Indian.

Read the rest of this entry »

“The decision to overlook key Liverpool players despite our magnificent achievement was frustrating,” Chief Executive Rick Parry told Liverpool’s official magazine.

“What do you have to do to be recognised by the powers-that-be? I don’t want to take anything away from the England cricketers and their wonderful Ashes success against Australia. But the fact that the inspirational efforts of Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher in helping us win the Champions League were effectively dismissed is little short of staggering.”

“Of course, we have been here before,” he said. “The achievements of the legendary Bob Paisley, the most successful English club manager of all time and three-times European Cup winner, were never truly recognised. My own bemusement now comes full circle to encompass the failure to recognise the achievements of the Anfield boys of 2005.”

Never a truer word spoken plus the fact that every member of the England Rugby Squad got a MBE including someone who played for 25 minutes against Uruguay and the physio. Paul Collingwood, who scored about 20 runs and took no wickets in the final test got one as did the England bowling coach who is an Australian!!!

Jonno

Unperturbed by the original schedule for the forthcoming tour of India, I was very close to booking my flights on Saturday morning. In hindsight I am now very grateful for the hangover that disturbed my slumber and had me bedridden for the day as I awoke on Sunday to learn that the BCCI had once again changed the itinerary of the tour.

Their tinkering and politics is as infuriating as ever and this tour is fast becoming a joke; illustrating perfectly why many people believe those on the BCCI are incapable of organising dysentery in Dehli, let alone the wealthiest cricketing board in the world.

Having moved the first test from Ahmedabad to Mohali they have added extreme inconvenience to anyone wishing to follow the tour. Anyone would think they couldn’t care less about the boost that the Barmy Army’s presence will give to local economies. But how stupid of me to forget…they couldn’t care less. Their own pockets will be lined regardless.

Just to follow the three tests, assuming you fly in to Dehli and out of Mumbai, you will have to spend 52 hours on trains and cover
3300 km. This is not to mention the One Day International schedule, which resembles the aftermath of a BCCI game of pin the tail on the donkey.

Gruff

The ICC has shown it is a spineless and impotent organization by refusing to intervene in the Zimbabwean cricket crisis.

ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed said: “I am extremely saddened for the cricketers and people of Zimbabwe”.

The people of Zimbabwe don’t want sympathy, they want a cricket team they can follow with pride and affection. Not one ravaged by internal politics, and the refusal on the International ruling bodies’ reluctance to help.

Their captain Tatenda Taibu, has been forced into international retirement as well as hiding, after receiving death threats in front of Zimbabwe Cricket chairman Peter Chingoka. The other players are considering whether to follow Taibu’s example.

“If the stand-off continues, I am afraid to say there will be no cricket to talk about in this country,” Taibu said. “We all know that it will die, so that effectively means we won’t be able to field a team in the West Indies.”

The ICC has directly contributed to the death of Zimbabwean cricket.

RIP Cricket in Zimbabwe.